I’m anxious, depressed and I just can’t stop thinking about my problems.

How many people with emotional problems continue to feel overwhelmed by all that has happened and continue to chew over, dissect, and worry over it all. Other people are blamed and life is considered to be so unfair. The problems seem insoluble and take over every moment. They cannot stop thinking about them. Life becomes a wretched muddle. Nothing makes sense. Words are said that no right minded person would say, e-mails are sent that are extraordinary, tempers become frayed and anger so easily erupts.

The American Psychiatric Association has listed the features that characterise depression. These are:

Low self esteem

Reduced interests in life

Haunted by guilt feelings

Efficiency is impaired

Courage is less

Fearful

Performance is reduced

Sensitivity is increased

How can such people be helped? The secret must be to find a way to leave the problems behind. Sensitivity is often an issue as sufferers can easily focus on a minor issue and so miss the big picture and the solution to their problem.

Patient 1

A first year student at university went to see the university medical officer, and immediately started weeping. He was feeling very low indeed. He had recently got over an attack of ‘flu, he wasn’t sleeping well, he was well behind on his work and was stressed because of this. On top of this he was very lonely. The medical officer then drew a little picture of a spiral, at the bottom of which was a circle which he called the ‘slough of despond’.

The doctor explained how problems of either the body, the mind, social issues or the spirit can press a person down this spiral of depression. Indeed the word ‘depression’ comes from the Latin de-pressere which means ‘pressed down’. It was pointed out that some people are more liable to be pushed down by pressures because of their makeup. They discussed how pressures in each of these four areas might be involved and then resolved. To address the spiritual issues he was asked,

“Do you have a faith to help you in all this or aren’t you sure about these things?”

“No, I have no real direction or purpose,” he replied.

The student was given a short supply of sleeping pills to help overcome the sleepless fatigue. The student’s supervisor was contacted and it was arranged for him to do just one essay instead of the five outstanding. The student was later taken to a local Sunday tea party held every week some students to introduce him to some friends. They did befriend him, and soon he made friends and even joined as group of them at a local student church. After a few months this young man was not only coping with his studies, but he generally settled down. All three depressing factors were resolved. He found a purpose in life by becoming a Christian.

Patient 2

Another professional man had been seeing his doctor on innumerable occasions with depressive symptoms. He had lost his job, his friends, his marriage and his dignity. He could see no solution - he wanted to kill himself. His doctor rapidly diagnosed depression and treated him with anti-depressant pills. When he didn’t improve different pills were prescribed. But the problems still continued. He was referred to a psychiatrist who gave him yet different pills but the side effects were so bad he stopped taking them.

Then another doctor started to help him by looking at what factors might have contributed to the depression and he suggested that there may be a spiritual problem - but had no solution. Eventually a Christian friend suggested that he talk with a doctor in his church. Would this be a miracle cure? They met up but the help suggested was not magical or miraculous; he didn’t suggest that there was an overwhelming new power that would change everything instantly as a result of prayer. He had previously been disillusioned with what he considered to be superficial religion but this was somehow different. His new friend explained instead that the answer to life’s problems lies in a submission to God and to what he has taught. He stressed that the God of the Bible is a communicating God who cares about each of us he has created.

Mulling over the problems was the problem

A young boy was playing in the garden when he tripped up and fell into a muddy puddle. He just sat there, wailing. He looked at his dirty sodden clothes and cried again. He thought how stupid it was for someone to leave a puddle there for him to fall into. He sat and wailed again. What a mess. Then he screamed for his mother.

His mother stood him up on dry ground, took him in for a warm bath and dressed him in clean clothes. By this time the crying had stopped and he was back to normal.

The professional man’s problems were talked over and a warm relationship began. The problems were severe but Fred’s actions had clearly contributed to the mess. He needed to make a new start - somehow.

Step 1. Recognise that God wants to help

Our instincts tell us that feeling depressed is not what life is meant to be. There is a purpose in life - somewhere. Those instincts were instilled into our makeup by our creator, just as a love of beauty, honesty, integrity and justice are. The Bible clearly teaches that God wants to help us even more that the mother wants to help her child. How often God uses our problems to help us wake us up to our need of him.

One symptom of being depressed is that people turn inwards with a feeling of ‘poor me’. Freud called this ‘Introjection’. This self-pity is both a symptom and part of the reason for problems continuing. Have you noticed how depressed people talk about themselves a lot and use words such as ‘I’ and ‘me’ more than others? The question is how to change this situation when everything is wrong with the world and the person’s sensitivity is increased, another symptom of depression.

Step 2. Ask him to help you

The God who made us is not an impersonal force, he has become a human being and has experienced the sort of problems we face. He can help and longs to do so. We can ask him to help resolve the mess. He usually does this by teaching us and helping us to change ourselves.

Jesus said,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28

How many people suffer from guilt. Marghanita Lasky was a famous broadcaster who was an atheist. In one broadcast she was talking with a Christian and said these profound words,

“There is one thing I envy about you Christians, you have someone to forgive you, I have no-one.”

The fact is that Marghanita Lasky does have a creator who longs to have a relationship with her if only she would recognise him.

Step 3. Don’t be overwhelmed

Perhaps the most significant feature of those who are depressed is that they continue to feel overwhelmed by both the problems of the past and ongoing issues and the limited prospects for the future. They just can’t seem to stop thinking about all that has happened.

There is nothing that can be done to change what has happened in the past so it is most unwise and damageing to keep mulling over it. Similarly anxiety is the effect on those who cannot stop mulling over what might happen in in the future. This mulling keeps people in the mess they are in and destroys them.

Our Lord wants us to leave the past with him and start again with a clean slate. That is the message Christ brought. We can leave the past and our guilt with him. He has dealt with this so we should not keep returning to the issues. When we turn to Christ we become new people,

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has come, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

There was a West Indian preacher who made this very clear. In a sermon he enthusiastically proclaimed that God has thrown all our sins into the deepest sea. There was then a pause before he said meaningfully,

“Then he put up a notice - ‘No Fishing!”

How we all need to learn and relearn this lesson. We must not allow ourselves to keep mulling over what has happened to us or what might happen in the future but learn to leave the issues with the Lord. Every time the thoughts begin to came back learn to pray, ‘Lord, this is your problem now, I refuse to think any more about it.” It is persistent mulling that is so destructive.

Stop 4. Fill your mind with good things

It was a typo that caused me to write ‘Stop 4’ instead of ‘Step 4’ but I have deliberately left it in as this is where we must stop. The Bible teaches those who are committed to following Christ,

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is admirable or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received from me, or seen in me - put into practice. And the peace of God will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9

Finally means we stop here. We refuse to fill our minds with worries and fears but think about beneficial issues. Have you noticed how sinful thoughts and temptations have a tendency to affect us. Watch a pornographic film and the effect will stay for days. Sin is addictive, just as constantly mulling over problems and fears is addictive.

We all know of the addictive power of drugs, alcohol and gambling. It is no coincidence that these addictions are often associated with depression and anxiety. Anger and hatred can also be addictive. The link is the addictive power of mulling over past problems and future fears.

Loneliness is a significant factor in depression and anxiety. We can keep mulling over our loneliness. One remedy is to get involved with activities we can enjoy and with people who are on the same path. We must fill our minds with new things. It is there that there are friends who will spend time with you. This is why it is vital for those who recognise what God has done for them to find a church that teaches God’s Word clearly. It is God’s word that teaches us how to find ‘life’ and where our future strength lies.

A person asked their friend,

“How can I forgive someone who has hurt me so badly?”

The answer came back,

“If we can see how much we have hurt the Lord by rejecting him and yet we have been forgiven, then it is easier to forgive those who have hurt us.”

Jesus told a parable to this end. A man owed his king millions of pounds, yet he was forgiven the debt. However he immediately went and demanded payment from someone who owed him a few pounds. The king was livid with the ‘wicked man’ and was accordingly penalised. It is only when we can see how much we have been forgiven that we can forgive others. Part of the healing process is to try to put right any wrongs that we have performed that may have contributed to the pressures.

A refusal to keep mulling over the past is vital. Such mulling over problems is addictive and needs be positively rejected. But alongside this must go the determination to keep doing what is right, come what may. This is where the help of the Lord’s Spirit in us changes every thing. His prompting encourages us to avoid giving in to temptation, doing what can destroy us, and to start doing what is right, what pleases the Lord. The effect of this will be to give a deep satisfaction, a peace will come, relationships are restored, and a purpose is found.

BVP

Practical Problems - Angry Christians

Anger is a widespread problem in our societies.  It causes much disharmony and the breakdown of many marriages and friendships.  A clinical psychologist specialising in the treatment of angry men, has said,

"I’ve seen many of my patients lose jobs, wives, and opportunities because they were simply not able to handle the normal frustrations and disappointments in life. They argue, they insult, and they sulk. They come to think of themselves as ineffective, unlucky, or just plain losers. They don’t admit this to anyone, but deep inside, they feel inferior. Others don’t like them and they don’t like themselves. Their anger gets in the way of their ability to be good bosses, good workers, and good family men. I have also spent a great deal of time evaluating men who have been charged with serious crimes, such as assault and murder. Many, many of these crimes were not premeditated. These men did not all start out with the intention of hurting others. They reacted impulsively - often out of anger”

Unfortunately Christians are not immune from such problems.  When a person plays a sport they accept the rules.  When a person becomes a Christian they also immediately become subject to the commands of God.  Jesus told his disciples,

“If you love me you will obey what I command.” John 14:15

This teaching is becoming foreign to many Christians in the West who deep down want to remain independent.  Yet the same apostle John, in his second letter, reminds his readers what Jesus had taught and that all Christians are subject to the commands of God.

“It has given me great joy to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as the Father commanded us.  And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one that we have had from the beginning.  I ask that we love one another.  And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands.  As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” 2 John v. 4-6

Right through the Bible, from the first book till the last, this teaching is emphasised.

Cain

Since the earliest pages of the Bible we learn that our commitment, to the Lord who created us, is to follow his commands and so live to please him.  Failure to do so can produce dire problems.  Cain was a rebel against God who became jealous of his brother Abel, whose offering to God was accepted.  This rebellion was expressed as anger:

“ . . . but on Cain and his offering he (the LORD) did not look with favour.  So Cain was very angry and his face was downcast. . . . The LORD said to Cain ‘sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.’” Genesis 4:6-7

Clearly Cain’s anger was a problem and God commanded that he learn to  control this.

Jonah

Jonah was another rebel against what God had commanded him to do.  Eventually he was forced into going to Nineveh to preach a message of judgment if the inhabitants did not repent of their wicked ways.  Jonah was amazed when the king and citizens did repent and, because of God’s mercy, the judgement was enacted.  Jonah’s reaction was hardly that of a Godly man.

“But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry.” Jonah 4:4

Unfortunately a predisposition to anger characterised this prophet of God.  Jonah left the city of Nineveh and sat down outside to see what was going to happen.  His Lord graciously provided a plant to protect him from the sun.  A worm chewed the vine and killed it, with the result that Jonah found the sun’s heat oppressive.  Jonah’s weak character showed itself again and God said to him.

“Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?” Jonah 4:9

It does appear that a propensity to selfish anger is a cause of relationships being damaged, both with other people and with the Lord.  However it is also a symptom, demonstrating that our walk with the Lord is not in a good state.

God’s anger

It is not that a righteous anger is wrong.  When we hear of someone abusing children we should have such righteous anger.  If you use a word search for ‘anger’ in the first five books of the Bible most  examples are of the anger of God at man’s rebellion against him.  Yet on Mount Sinai the Lord gives Moses a beautiful summary of his character.

“The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” Exodus 34:6

God’s anger is always justified and under control.  This summary of the character of God is frequently repeated by the Old Testament writers. (See Numbers 14:6, Nehemiah 9:17,  Psalms 30:5, 75:38, 86:16, 103:8 and Jonah 4:2)

Man’s anger

The following passages from the Bible make it abundantly clear that most anger exhibited by men is contrary to the nature of God.

Old Testament

“Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city” Proverbs 16:32

“A fool gives vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Proverbs 29:11

Unfortunately our anger can be the result of someone stirring us up either unconsciously, thoughtlessly or maliciously. We must all be careful not to deliberately irritate others.

“. . . as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.” Proverbs 30:33

Man has always recognised the divisive effect anger causes.  It is not possible to be angry and happy at the same time.  God’s wish is for his people to be happy,

“I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and to do good while they live.” Ecclesiastes 3:12

New Testament

Here the effect of anger is clearly explained.  Christians are under the Lord’s authority so must avoid becoming angry and showing our temper.  Anger is so damaging both to ourselves and to our relationships.  Our anger betrays a heart not really submissive to Christ and damages our witness for Christ.

“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality . . .hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition . .  I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21

In contrast, what our Lord wants to develop in us are his characteristics,

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control . . .those who belong to Christ have crucified the sinful nature and its passions and desires.” Galatians 5:22-24

So it is our responsibility to develop these Godly characteristics in ourselves and fight against those of Satan.

“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation.” Philippians 2:14

Clearly our demeanour is meant to show Christ to all around us.

“But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips.” Colossians 3:8

The way we talk reveals how our walk with God is going.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:29-32

The apostle James considers anger to be a ‘moral filth’.  He recognises that anger and the holiness God wants to develop in us cannot co-exist.  He writes strongly,

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry., for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.  Therefore get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent, . . .” James 1:19-21

Anger and humility seldom exist together.  When we lose our temper we are really proclaiming how selfish we are.  James emphasised this,

“Who is wise and understanding among you?  Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom.  But if you harbour bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil” James 3:13-15

When Paul wrote to Titus and described the characteristics that should be seen in Christians he emphasised self-control.  Self-control should be seen in older men (Titus 2:2) and younger women who are being trained (2:5), young men (2:6), and all people (2:12).  It should especially be a characteristic of church elders who must be self-controlled and ‘not quick-tempered’.

Jesus himself was forthright about the seriousness of anger in his Sermon on the Mount,

“But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.” Matthew 5:22

Part of the power of Jesus was seen in the way he lived.  He lived what he taught.

Many people, prone to episodes of anger, will try to justify this by saying it is part of their personality, a product of the pressures they are under and of their upbringing.  Undoubtedly anger is more of a natural problem for some, others may be prone to greed and selfishness, but  we have now been given the Spirit of Christ and a major ambition of our life must be to allow Christ to take over what is worldly in our personalty.  We must strive to be gentle, peace-loving people.  Our daily walk with Christ is what matters.

“Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near. . . And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7

How we all need to remember the radical change that takes place when we become Christians.  We become new people and gradually we change to become like Christ.  Paul writes,

“You were taught, with regard to you former way of life, to put off the old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24

Other Factors

It is well known that after consuming alcohol or drugs there is an increased propensity to anger.  This is one reason why drinking alcohol is associated with marriage and other relationship difficulties.  Recent research has shown that consuming just two small drinks of vodka diminishes the activity in the pre-frontal cortex of the brain, an area that is involved in tempering a person’s level of aggression.  How hard it is for those given to alcohol to control their emotions and behaviour.  Brain damage to the pre-frontal cortex can also be caused by trauma or brain degenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s Disease and these can also result in an increase in fits of rage or anger.

Summary

It has been said “When you are angry count to ten, when you are very angry count to one hundred.”  Better advice would be, “When you feel anger coming upon you, pray urgently for the Lord’s help.” Then the question comes, “Is my anger a chronic problem?”  If it is then realise that the devil is playing on your weakness.  Our real enemy is not those problems  or that person who is so annoying, it is Satan who wants to separate us from Christ.

All Christians have the power of God’s Spirit within us, we have the motivation to become like Christ, what is needed is the daily determination to become what Christ has taught us  to be both by his words and his actions.   

BVP

A Better Story

James felt relaxed and was able to say to his friend just what was worrying him. It was nothing specific, just a deep sense of being unsettled. He had made silly mistakes in his life that still bugged him. He had not bothered at school, but then few of his friends had. His subsequent job as a builder wasn’t very satisfying. His marriage had not been a success either and admitted that he had looked for consolation elsewhere. This dalliance had left him feeling guilty. He felt lonely in spite of having people around him. He had even tried to escape the worries and guilt by drinking too much and that had really messed up both his marriage and his job. Nothing seems to give much peace, there are just temporary respites that last too short a time.

“I just feel empty and weary and I don’t know what the answer is.”

His friend listened intently and then suggested something novel,

“Will you come with me and listen to a guy who is visiting our town. Everyone is raving about him.”

That afternoon the two went to a field at the end of the town where a large crowd had gathered. They heard the clear voice of a preacher,

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how you do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”1

James was fascinated, it was as if the preacher were talking directly to him.

“He’s a great preacher, but why does he put himself so much in the centre of everything?”

I’m sure you will have gathered by now that James was living in northern Israel nearly two thousand years ago. He was listening to Jesus. His question would have been answered if he had heard what Jesus had said just before. He had made an astounding claim, he claimed to be the embodiment of God himself. Jesus had said,

“The Father has given me all these things to do and say. This is a unique Father-Son operation, coming out of the Father and Son intimacies and knowledge. No-one knows the Son the way the Father does. But I am not keeping it to myself; I’m ready to go over it line by line with anyone ready to listen.”1

God’s message has never changed. If like James, you feel that there is something seriously missing in your life, it could be the forgiveness, purpose and power that God longs to give to all people who will bend the knee before him and his Son. If you would like to investigate the claims of Jesus and ‘go over it line by line,’ please will you join us at a Christianity Explored meal or get hold of a copy of ‘Cure for Life’ that is available in Christchurch and local bookshops but whatever you do please don’t delay doing something. A much better story is available for you.

1 Quotes taken from Eugene Peterson’s translation of Matthew 11:28 and 27 in ‘The Message’

Diagnosis - Spiritual disease

A few months ago a friend in our church asked if I could talk to a colleague of his, a professional man, who was going through a particularly depressing time. I phoned him up and he came round for a meal. After that he came round to our home most days where we talked, walked and played pool. His life was falling apart. His wife no longer wanted him. He had been dismissed from his job. He was drowning his sorrows in strong drink. Emotionally he was a real mess. He was desperate and just wanted to run away. He kept saying he was going to kill himself. He had never had any connection with a church.

He had seen many doctors and psychologists but none had helped him. Anti-psychotics had made him feel worse. At one time his GP had suggested that his problem might be a spiritual one but offered no answer except more pills. However that suggestion was the key that led to discussions about how the Lord Jesus could change his life if only he was willing to start living as God wants. Jesus could forgive all the sin that separated him from God and would give him the gift of His Spirit to empower him to live a new type of life. After some weeks, in our kitchen, he asked the Lord Jesus to help him and forgive him. However there was no immediate change. He still wallowed in his problems and was angry at everyone. The one noticeable change was that he started to come to church and joined in a Bible Study group. He then began to develop an appetite to read and understand the Bible. Then he made the decision to turn his back on the way he had been living and start doing what God wanted of him. That week he came to the Church prayer meeting. He started to send his friends texts with Bible passages that excited him. He became a new man. He knows Colossians 1:21-23 by heart. He loves to tell people how it is the Lord Jesus who has forgiven him and is changing his life.

He now has a new job, he is paying off his debts and relationships with old friends are being restored. Everyone who knows him appreciates the extraordinary change in his character, lifestyle and ambitions. In spite of increasing busyness he recognises that he must continue to live with his Lord’s priorities. At our ‘one to one’ Bible study this week he recognised the importance of Jesus’ instructions,

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be yours as well.” Matthew 6:33

His doctor was right. He did have a profound spiritual problem with depressive symptoms. What a shame that his doctor couldn’t or wouldn’t prescribe the right remedy.

“I’m going through a rough time!”

Major depression is ten times more common in people born after 1945 than in those born earlier. Prescriptions for anti-depressants are rising by 7% a year since the 1990’s. In 2005 there were about 30 million prescriptions for these pills in England, but by 2015 there were 61 million prescriptions at a cost of £285 million a year. What could be the causes for this escalating problem that is affecting so many young people, in spite of the advances in education and economy? How can we help?

Those who are feeling low can often look back at the circumstances that have contributed to their problems. They too frequently then keep mulling over what has happened and often keep blaming other people or circumstances for their plight. The constant pressure from events and thoughts can result in an on-going state of depression that can give rise to many varied symptoms but particularly common are feelings of being unloved, of unworthiness and guilt.

To feel unloved is a terrible state to be in. One of the first black students at a white university in the Southern States of America was having a tough time. Other students were making derogatory and snide comments about him. So he put up a poster in his hall of residence that said,

“I’m not rubbish ‘cos God don’t make rubbish.”

Is it surprising that depression, that feeling of being unloved, has become much more common recently when people are told,

“There is no God who loves you.”

This is the very opposite to the teaching of Jesus, who claimed to have entered this world because he ‘so loves’ us all, whoever we are and whatever we have done. He claimed to be the embodiment of our heavenly Father and creator. One of the most famous verses in the Bible says,

“God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

To know we are loved by our creator and Saviour is fundamental to our making sense of life.

Causes

A first year student at university went to see the university medical officer, and immediately started weeping. He was feeling very low indeed. He had recently got over an attack of ‘flu, he wasn’t sleeping, he was well behind on his work and was stressed because of this, and he was very lonely. He was asked,

“Do you have a faith to help you in all this, or aren’t you sure about these things?”

“No, I have nothing. I have no direction and no purpose,” he replied.

The medical officer then drew a little picture of a spiral, at the bottom of which was a circle which he called the ‘slough of despond’.

He went on to explain how problems of either the body, the mind or the spirit can press a person down this spiral of depression. Loneliness is a common factor. Indeed the word ‘depression’ comes from the Latin de-pressere which means ‘pressed down’. They discussed how each of the three groups of problems could be resolved. He was given a two week supply of pills to help overcome the sleepless fatigue. The doctor contacted his supervisor and arranged for him just to do one essay instead of the five outstanding, and then he arranged to take him to a local Sunday tea party held every week by some nurses and students at the London Hospital. They befriended him, and soon he was joining them at the evening Bible teaching services at St. Helen’s Church in Bishopsgate. He later joined the nurses and students on their annual houseparty and after a few months this young man was not only coping with life, with his studies, but he also found the answers to life and became a Christian.

“I want to end it all,” is a common response in people who, being in the ‘Slough of Despond’ cannot see a way out of their problems. Frequently their depression prevents them seeing their good points and those people around who would love to help. They often hate the things they have done wrong and are riddled with guilt. They don’t know how this recurrent feeling of guilt, that compounds the depression, can be removed?

Eric Fromm wrote in his book, ‘The Sane Society’,

“It is indeed amazing that, in as fundamentally an irreligious culture as ours, the sense of guilt should be so widespread and deep rooted as it is.”i

Marghanita Lasky, a humanist, was involved in a television debate with a Christian. She said,

“What I envy most about you Christians is your forgiveness. I have no-one to forgive me.”

Solutions

All people have in them a myriad of right and wrong thoughts. Too often these wrong thoughts, when mulled over and succumbed to, can result in stupid and damaging actions. We feel angry about something so we lash out with our tongue or hands at those we feel responsible. Such actions just compound the problems. We are upset so the furniture is kicked or crockery thrown. This just compounds the problems. We cold-shoulder those who have hurt us but this further distances people from us and may result in further bitterness. And so the problems and the depression worsens. The spiral goes down and down. This tendency may be exacerbated by our family backgrounds or other illness and such people may find it more difficult than others to cope reasonably to pressures. It is understandable that some then feel that the only answer is to try and escape through alcohol, drugs, self-harm, running away or even suicide?

A depressed lady was talking in this way with her friend who happened to be a Christian. The lady was desperate, she wanted to end it all. The friend spent a long time listening to all the problems and it was clear that the selfish and often stupid ways the lady had reacted to her problems had further compounded the situation. It is striking that depressed people talk about themselves and their wants much of the time. They find it hard to see a bigger picture.

“My life is so wretched. I’m in a very dark place and I want to end it all.”

Her friend tried to help her to see that although her world was dark and bleak, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. She asked,

“Do you have a faith that helps you at a time like this or aren’t you sure about such things.”

“No, I’ve never been religious and I can’t see how religion would help me with the mess I am in.”

The friend smiled gently,

“I’m not talking about religion, but you have said that your world is dark. There is someone who said he had come to ‘lighten our darkness’. It is said about him,

“In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.” John 1:4-5

“Well at present, I cannot see any light anywhere. I feel bad over some things I have done and I cannot see any way out. I’ve hurt other people as well as myself. I just feel wretched.”

It was clear that her feelings of guilt were contributing to the depression. She came up with a radical solution.

“There is one way by which feelings of guilt can be overcome. Guilt is that horrid feeling of knowing you have done something wrong that has offended either God, other people and yourself, or all three. The Bible teaches that Jesus, who is ‘the light’ I just mentioned, entered this world to take on himself the responsibility for our sin. He is willing to do this for us if we become his followers. Our guilt can be left with him as we start again.”

She then explained that this is not just a quick fix, a cheap insurance policy. It involves a radical change in life. Jesus has to become our Lord and Master if he is to be our Saviour. She then found a Bible and asked they could look at something Jesus has said together and the lady agreed.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.

That must be the starting point, our creator loves each of us more than we can ever understand. But he wants his love to be responded to.

“If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy maybe in you and that your joy maybe complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his Masters business. Instead, I have called your friends, but everything that I learn from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last.” John 15:9-16

God’s love is even more than the love of human parents. But our responsibility is to remain in his love and respond to it. We have to make a determined decision to deny those wrong, harmful urges and start living as God wants. That is what the Bible calls repentance.

Die to self

This concept that God loved her was too big for the depressed lady. She just wanted to be out of her misery. Her friend came up with a novel compromise,

“You want to die and I’m willing to help you but not in the way you mean. Why don’t you start again by putting to death just the bad side of yourself? Then over the next few days, weeks and months you’ll find a new joy and peace. The condition Jesus makes for us to enjoy his peace and light is for us to be willing to kill off the old man in us.“

Can I show you some other similar passages from the Bible?

“Do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.” Romans 6:12

“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, last, evil desires and greed which is idolatry. Because of these the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you’ve taken off your old self with its practices and put on the news self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its creator.” Colossians 3:5-10

The friend went on to emphasise that this new lifestyle is not to be a transient thing. It is a radical change. She showed her another passage.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of Gods mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind - then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is, his good, pleasing and perfect well. . . . Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honour one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mole with those who mourn. Leaving home any with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do you not be conceited.” Romans 12:1-2, 9-16

The lady looked glum.

“I wish I could live this way but I can’t see that I could ever do it. It’s not me. I’m not such a person.”

There is no help for those who don’t see that their problem in within themselves. What she had seen in herself is what God sees in all of us but few recognize they have this major problem called sin, a willful independence from God. The Bible teaches,

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. . . . ” Romans 3:23

But this verse doesn’t end by leaving us in the dark, in a hopeless state. The next verse continues,

“ . . . and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:24

Jesus met up with a disliked, cheating tax collector, named Zacchaeus, and went to stay with him. Zacchaeus was clearly impressed with Jesus and came to believe in him. He determined to change the direction of his life and live the new life. He demonstrated this by giving half of his great wealth to the poor and he restored four times the amount he had defrauded from people. That was one way of demonstrating repentance. Jesus said of him,

“Today salvation has come to this house, . . . . For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10

New Power

The friend smiled gently as she saw the lady’s distress..

“You’re quite right. None of us can live as God wants without help. But if you can recognise that this is the ideal and that this would bring great harmony to yourself and our society, then you have made a great start. What is exciting is that God has not only told us how he wants us to live but he has also provided an answer to our past failures. He gave us a scapegoat who would pay for our sin by sending his Son to die in our place. More than this he gives us a new power to help us live in the way that both pleases him and is very good for us. He gives us his own Holy Spirit. But note that this Power is holy, he is determined to help us live the new life, the one that God wants to see growing in us.”

The Bible has so much to say about the power of the Holy Spirit. He is not just a doctrinal idea – he really is a major power who changes people radically. God does change people like us who deep down would like to live this new life but cannot find it in ourselves to do so. Saul was an arrogant murderer who met with God and was changed by the power of God’s Spirit to live a completely different life with completely different priorities. Salvation is not just a theological term, it is a very practical experience. Paul could say later,

“Christ came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst.” 1 Timothy 1:15

Because of this radical change he took on a new name – Paul; he did this because he had become a new person. He later wrote,

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

“I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of his power.” Ephesians 3:7

This is the Christian message. God really did enter this world as Jesus. He died in our place but demands of us all that we turn from our old selfish lives and accept him as our Lord and Master. That change of mind and direction is called ‘repentance’ in the Bible. What is exciting is that he gives us the power of the Holy Spirit to help us live this new life. God’s Spirit in us will prompt our consciences, and will lead us to want to keep meeting up with other Christians. He will lead us to want to get to know and feed on God’s word, the Bible, for ourselves.

One of the lady’s issues was that her marriage was really unpleasant with constant arguments and recriminations.

“I don’t love my husband.” she exclaimed, as if this was the last straw.

Her friends reply startled her,

“Then you must start doing so!”

The depressed lady had thought love to be an emotional, gooey feeling about someone. But real love is not this, it is caring for and serving others, even when we don’t necessarily like the way they behave. Loving actions and kind words can often restore a relationship and then amicable feelings can return. Right actions, not feelings should direct the way we live.

Decision

The lady was honest.

“This sounds very nice and is attractive but how can I know it is true, that I can be forgiven and can live a new life?”

The friend acknowledged that this was a very valid question.

“The evidence is all there for us. There is the evidence from science that our world must have a creator. Then there is the historical evidence about Jesus’ existence, his life, his death and his resurrection. There is the evidence of the remarkable growth of the early church against much opposition. There is the evidence for the Bible being God’s word with so many references in the Old Testament about God’s coming Messiah. Furthermore there is the evidence from our instincts. Deep down we know that our lives do have a purpose, we were made for a better life, and that the sins we so easily fall into are wrong. Put all this together and the evidence is overwhelming.

The friends parting words were clear,

“I cannot make this decision for you, all I can do is explain the message. I could explain in more detail the reasons I have come to this hope in the God who has shown his love for each of us, but ultimately the decision is one that everyone has to make is our own. Will I accept who Jesus is and accept the eternal relationship with such a loving God that he offers us?

Ayaan Hersi Ali had been member of the radical Muslim brotherhood. She then became an atheist and joined Richard Dawkins Neo-athieists teaching in universities. However she became very depressed and anxious. She tried anti-depressants, counsellors and psychiatrists with no benefit. Then someone said to her,

“Ayaan, I wonder if your problem is that you have a spiritual vacuum within you.”

That was it. What she had been teaching was giving people nothing, no hope, no purpose and no way to live. She was suffering from her doctrine. She turned to God and became a Christian. Her debate with Richard Dawkins, just six months after she had turned to Christ is available on YouTube and is well worth watching. There are answers and there is hope.

BVP