Ephesians 5: 3-7. ‘Keep Yourself Pure’
We live in sex crazed world. Banter at work so often has sexual overtones. Novels don’t sell unless they have some explicit sexual story and films are increasingly sexualised. Just as a drop on water causes waves so the problem of impurity can have far reaching consequences.
Prof Paul Dona, a professor at LSE, says that research in the United Kingdom has shown that 1 in 3 married men and 1 in 4 married women have been unfaithful.
Many advertisements are sexualised and there is a pandemic of pornography. The global pornography industry is estimated to generate billions of dollars annually. This has even infiltrated into the church. Countless Christian marriages have been rocked by affairs. We cannot and must not turn a blind eye to this.
Sexual temptation is so powerful but those who have succumbed are often racked with guilt and shame. Some now suggest that the answer is to embrace our natural desires and stop feeling embarrassed. In our schools sex education is too often simply ‘How to avoid getting pregnant and catching sexually transmitted diseases’.
In Prof Dolan’s book ‘Happy Ever After’ he says,
“Our problem is our commitment to monogamy.’
“There are many good options to choose from, with monogamy being just one.”
“Its not deviant to deviate.”
There are now some people in the church who say we should stop being ashamed about sexual aberrations. Let us all be clear, that is not how God sees the problem.
In our passage in Ephesians 5, God is very clear that sexual behaviour is very important to him. Purity is an essential characteristic of Christ’s church – he is our head and we are his body. We must be like him.
Outline:
1. The new life God wants
2. The old life God hates
3. The Warning God gives
The New Life God Wants
But first let us revise what we have seen about how God wants his people to live. In the second half of this book, chapters 4-6, the walk of the believer is key, how we live affects our destiny
“. . . live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” Ephesians 4:1
“. . . you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking.” Ephesians 4:17
“. . . put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24
“Live as children of the light . . .” Ephesians 5:8
“Be very careful, then, how you live . . .” Ephesians 5:15
In Ephesians 5:1 we see the word ‘therefore’. This refers back to 4:31-32 in which our real character is seen in the way we speak about other people:
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
This refers to the sins of hatred, anger and the wrong use of the tongue. In our passage today God talks about all forms of sexual immorality which he also hates. Instead we are to mimic the Lord Jesus,
“Be imitators of God, therefore, . . .” Ephesians 5:1
The Greek word for imitator is mimetes which is the source of our English word ‘mimic’. This is a repeated lesson in the New Testament. For example, in Romans, Paul writes:
“For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son.” Romans 8:29
Cowardice can prevent us living openly for Christ. Alexander the Great had a coward in his army brought before him. When told that his name was Alexander he said,
“Either renounce your cowardice or renounce your name.”
We Christians are in the Lord’s army. We have been chosen to work for his rule and reputation. We do this by living like Jesus and speaking about him. It is so often cowardice that prevents us doing this. We also must renounce our cowardice as otherwise we are renouncing the name of our Saviour and Lord. It is natural for children to imitate their parents, both good and bad points. We, as children of God, have been called to imitate our Lord. Very early in this book we read:
“He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ . . . to the praise of his glorious grace . . .” Ephesians 1:5
We must all understand this, we have been saved so that every one of us is being changed into people fit to be the representatives of the Lord Jesus:
“And we all . . . are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18
Notice how in this passage Paul contrasts the life of love we must live, because the Lord Jesus has first loved us. The Greek word used in verses 1-2 is agape the self-giving sacrificial love. Paul contrasts this with the sexual greed that the world today calls love but is the very opposite of Christ’s love. In verses 1-7 these two are vividly contrasted. In verses 1-2, that we looked at last week agape love, self-giving love, is contrasted with what many today think of as love but note that in v. 3-7 love is not mentioned.
The Old Life God Hates v. 3
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” Ephesians 5:3
Sexual immorality, porneia, is any kind of sexual stimulation outside of marriage between one man and one woman. All impurity is repugnant to God. It doesn’t matter if this impurity is sexual acts, mental, verbal, or virtual. All are impure and are based on greed, surely this is why Paul mentions greed in this list of sexual aberrations. One commentator wrote,
“Greed is the inner spring from which our desire for sexual impurity comes.”
Paul is contrasting love and selflessness with promiscuity and selfishness.
Sexual sin possibly causes more pain in families and society than anything else. There’s the betrayal; the lying; the deception. There’s the severing of trust; severing of families; severing of relationships. On top of that there are the sexually transmitted diseases , AIDS, chlamydia, herpes, genital warts, gonorrhoea and syphilis. These have increased in our society by nearly 5% last year.
Sexual sin in spiritual leadership has an added severity. Churches are damaged; ministries are damaged and witness is damaged. As we all know, Christ’s churches of all denominations have been undermined by the sexual misdemeanours of Christians leaders. What a disaster this has been to Christ’s reputation and remember Satan loves to highlight and publicise any faults in Christians.
Electricity is a powerful and helpful thing if used correctly. However, misused or abused, electricity can be deadly. The same is true of sexuality. Misused, sex is also deadly. Abusing God’s gift produces problems such as abortion, poverty, rape, adultery, divorce, and pornography.
Sexual sin begins with temptation, as all sin does. When we refuse to acknowledge God’s boundaries, we allow lust to dictate our choices. And lust never leads in the right direction.
A Christian became involved in an adulterous affair which destroyed his family and had far reaching disastrous consequences. His pastor went to talk with him. The man said,
“I don’t know what came over me.”
‘I do,” said the minister, “You must have been thinking about this relationship and where it might lead for some time before it all happened.”
Paul isn’t down on sex itself, later in this chapter sex is celebrated in the proper context of marriage. Sex is a wonderful gift of God designed to cement a marriage relationship and produce children but as the Song of Solomon reminds us three times:
“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
So important for young people today. Don’t awaken love until you are ready to be married, get on and do other things with your life first, before you are ready to settle down. Toying with sex is highly dangerous. Like drugs, wrongful sex is addictive, it can take over people’s thoughts. Solomon had this to say to his sons when telling him these truths:
“Now then, my sons, listen to me; do not turn aside from what I say. Keep to a path far from her . . .” Proverbs 5:7-8
Seducers and seductresses abound. He warns that if they fail to follow this advice there will be deep regret
“You will say, “How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors. And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God’s people.” Proverbs 5:11-14
Our youngsters, men and women, need to hear these warnings for their good.
The speaker at a Christian youth conference was speaking on this subject and was very clear about what the Bible teaches. One girl present was very upset and she went up to complain to the speaker afterwards.
“You don’t seem to understand that life is very different now. We have contraceptive pills and everyone is at it now. My boyfriend and I are sleeping together and it isn’t hurting anyone, is it?”
The speaker replied,
“I know what the Bible says is contrary to what some say today, but surely what God says really matters. To offend him is the worst thing anyone can do.”
He then produced a piece of paper and on it he wrote two words, a big ‘No’ and a big ‘Lord’.
“We all have to make a decision in life. If we say ‘no’ to God he is not our Lord. Please will you go away and pray about what is right. Then decide and cross out either the ‘No’ or ‘Lord’
The girl went away to face this dilemma. She cried as it was a very tough decision for her to make. When she returned to talk to the minister she had crossed out the word ‘no’. She did want Jesus to be her Lord and therefore her Saviour.
The Lord wants all of his people to put off the old self. God’s attitude to perverted love and sexual sin is seen clearly in Numbers 25:1-9 where God’s people, the Israelites had sexual relationships with local Moabite women with the result that 24,000 Israelites died. God’s attitude has not changed.
Sexual matters are so precious they shouldn’t be cheapened by smutty and vulgar jokes.
“Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” Ephesians 5:4
It is not easy when a school friend shows you a pornographic clip on his mobile or a pornographic book he is reading. Jesus is asking us to turn our backs on such things.
Christians are radically different to worldly people. We have put off the old nature and put on the new.
Early in Queen Victoria’s reign a dinner was held in a luxurious house in the west end of London. After the ladies withdrew the conversation became crude and vulgar. One man said nothing till he suddenly asked the servant to call his carriage. With great courtesy he turned to his host and apologised for his early departure, adding,
“. . . but I am still a Christian.”
That young man had much to lose, acting in such a way could have been costly. He had obtained double firsts at Oxford in both classics and mathematics, had become a Member of Parliament when only 21 years of age and was already recognised as an up and coming politician. He needed friends at this stage in his career yet principles mattered most to him. His name was Robert Peel. The police are called “Bobbies” in the UK after Sir Robert Peel, who founded the Metropolitan Police Service in 1829. He was later to become a very popular Prime Minister. His action at that dinner was not done to make himself look better than others but to remind his friends, at a huge potential cost to himself, that God is not to be trifled with. It is a fine balance.
Notice that Paul says:
“ . . . but rather thanksgiving.” Ephesians 5:4
This is so different to impurity. If I cannot include the Lord in what I’m doing then I shouldn’t be doing it. This is why constant prayer and thanksgiving are essential ingredients of a Christians life. Shame, our consciences, are a helpful guide as to what pleases the Lord. Look on:
“It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible.” Ephesians 5:12-13
If we do wrong, think wrong or say wrong God knows what is going on. We cannot fool him or hide from him. What we think and do betrays whether our relationship with Jesus matters to us and that will effect our eternal destination. Look at what the next verse teaches:
“For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.” Ephesians 5:5
Do we all see what this is saying, hell awaits even those who claim to be Christians but who have no desire to be holy, Christ-like people. When we become Christians we do not just tell Jesus that we recognise we are sinners and ask him to forgive us. It is much more than that. A Christian has died to the old self and has risen up to a new life to live like Jesus. There is no forgiveness if Jesus is not my Lord.
The German theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who was killed by the Nazis just before the end of the Second World War, famously wrote against those who advocated what he called ‘cheap grace’. Every sinful thought would be enough to send Jesus to the cross – is that what we want? There are today some, even in churches that are trying to move the goal posts about sexual morality but to do so they have to undermine the validity of Scripture. Paul goes on to say:
“Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient.” Ephesians 5:6
People have a choice, do we listen and follow what the Word of God says or do we follow empty words that have no authority. Remember what Paul passed on to Timothy (and us) just before he was beheaded,
“Preach the word . . . For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.” 2 Timothy 4:2-4
So for us today. We Christians must determine to remain true to the Lord, whatever the cost. Anyone who is in Christ is a new creation so we must live this way. Paul wrote so much about this need for holiness:
“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” Titus 2:11-12
It is therefore very dangerous to assure someone that they are saved if there are no biblical grounds for saying this. Just praying a prayer doesn’t save anyone. There must be repentance, that determination to live a new life close to Jesus, full of thanksgiving. In 1 Corinthians Paul gives a list of habitual sins that proves that a person is not saved.
“Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-10
There are those who try to deny this but theirs are empty words if they say that sin is tolerable to God.
The Warning God Gives
Let none of us think sexual sins are not a danger to us. Douglas (not his real name) was a great pastor who was deeply loved. No-one knew that he was hooked on pornography. It only came to light when he had an affair and was dismissed from his job. Remember the great King David, he started so well as God’s man but then came disaster. The episode occurred when David was idle. His army was away fighting the enemy, but he stayed behind in Jerusalem. He had time on his hands. He should have been at war, leading his men in battle. Instead, he was walking on his roof.
“The idle mind is the playground of the devil,” said Martin Luther.
From the roof, David saw a woman bathing. He was taken completely off guard. Bathsheba was beautiful and, at first, he told himself, he was just admiring her beauty. But the longer he looked, the more his sexual desire was aroused. He was blinded to the seriousness of “just looking.” Sexual sin begins in our thoughts. The longer the thoughts are harboured, the stronger the temptation becomes. Is there anyone here who doesn’t have wrong thoughts? This problem will destroy the spiritual life of many of our young people and others. This is why the New Testament warns us all, and we, like Solomon must talk about these dangers.
So let us all determine not to join the world in its evil but to get involved in this suffering world as people of light. We must be imitators of God as his beloved children.
However there will be many whose consciences still trouble them over past sexual sins. For those with this problem please read Psalm 51 and see how King David, who was deeply troubled after his affair with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband, found peace. Our Lord and Saviour wants us all to experience his peace and not to be troubled by past sins.
BVP
March 2025
